Woo-hoo I'm Twenty Two!
Plus two...
I'm Twenty Four
*sigh*
Eight Thousand Seven Hundred and Sixty Six Days.
If you're anything like me, I'm truly sorry, then you probably spend your days comparing yourself to other people your age.
I am a very big fan of social media; and while social media is a great way to keep up with your friends and people you are interested in, it's also the easiest way of falling into this dark place of just stalking people and quickly becoming jealous of where someone might be in their life.
Of course we all have the same twenty four hours, but we don't all have the same resources, goals, or interests.
Your early twenties are honestly the coolest and most complicated time in your life man. You're new to having those "adult" responsibilities, your relationships hold a certain amount of pressure that your teenage relationships didn't, and overall you're just in a new space where you're actually realizing what the hell it is that even interests you or what type of person you're trying to develop into. In your early twenties everyone encourages you to just dive in and indulge! Go to college, take a bunch of random classes or just change your major a bunch of times, fuck a bunch of different people, move in with a damn stranger or random coworker because rent is just cheaper that way, leave your shitty job; just jump around bartending at different places until you find the perfect little dive bar on the south east side, and fall in love with your boss! Normal shit ya know.
It's all fun and games until you log into Facebook and now everyone is married, are either pregnant or already parenting, and they're all starting their careers. Well shit... I thought this was the time to just chill and fuck around? What do I want to do? All I've done up until now is sit in a classroom working towards a degree I've lost interest in and jump from job to job. It's been two years since I felt like all my peers and I were in the same head space, and now I feel so left behind and lost that it's scary. Twenty two was crazy, but man at least I knew I wasn't alone.
Dude let me tell you how fucking left behind I feel; this last Saturday I turned in the keys to my old apartment as I prepared to move back home with my parents, and as I'm driving back I check my snapchat to see that my friends are loading up their U-haul because they just bought a fucking house. A fucking house. My long time friend and neighbor, who is my age btw, is a newlywed and now new homeowner.
My best friend and her boyfriend, who are both my age, are in the process of buying a house.
My old friend and her finance, who are also my age, sit in the comfort of their new home while they plan their wedding. I just tossed all my belongings in a storage unit because there's little to no room for me in my parents house, but here I am, living out of boxes and eating my feelings with the groceries my mom bought me.
Well I guess I should get my shit together, right?
Dude fuck that.
Don't get me wrong, that all sounds really wonderful and I'm sure eventually I'll want that for myself, but I realized that the only reason why I was even experiencing those feelings of jealousy was just because I felt pressured to have those things. I'm very content in my simple life. Yea I just moved in with my parents, but now I can count all my responsibilities in one hand: put gas in the car, go to work, make my partner cum, feed the dog, and pay your student loans. You got a mortgage, you have to pay off a wedding, you're for sure in debt because that precious house of yours needs appliances, you also have your student loan debt, your parents are expecting grandkids, and if something in that house ever breaks... yea that's on you. There is no landlord. And let me remind you that we're twenty four, so if you think you can have a simple house warming party to beak in the new place, I'll be the first to tell you that somebody is about to puke in your remodeled bathroom and pass out on your front yard. Congratulations your neighbors hate you, and oh yea, somebody fucked on your bed. But I mean, you have a house and somebody to fuck for the rest of your life, so that part is actually pretty cool. You're doing great sweetie.
Still.. I'll take my time.
Yes I'm setting goals, I feel motivated to work towards them, and I feel confident in my ability to kick ass.
At Twenty Four it feels like I am getting a little left behind, and that's fine. I haven't felt this comfortable in a long time. Not comfortable like I'm settled and okay with where I'm at, but comfortable because I actually feel myself having enough time to go after the things I didn't have space for before when I was going to school and living check to check. I can literally do whatever the fuck I want. I'm in a position where all I'm doing is saving money and fulfilling those side project that make me happy.
Like starting a blog where I can just write for days and see if someone can relate.
Today is May 2nd and it is my twenty-fourth birthday.
I dedicate twenty-four to getting my bank account as fat as my ass,
so that I can take it back to my real home - San Antonio - where I'll eventually get my shit together.
| Instagram∙Youtube: PaulinaIPerez |
| Snapchat∙Twitter∙Tumblr: PaulinaIP |
| Email: Pavis_94@hotmail.com |
| Homosexual | Feminist | Herbivore | Dog Mom | Writer |